Under The Weight Of Living
by Dasteler
Summary: After the tragic fall of his Uncle, Fili finds himself heavily burdened with the responsibilities of becoming King under the Mountain. A story that follows Fili's hardships of becoming King and living amongst his friends and family in their newly reclaimed home of Erebor. Fili/OC
1. Chapter 1

_The thunder of swords and axes clashed through the open air, surrounded by the roars of battle cries and screams of failure and death. Large bats dived from above, clawing, clutching and biting furiously at the men, elves and dwarves below, shrieking wildly with what sounded like excitement as they successfully got hold of their targets beneath them._

_Fili had his two swords clutched tightly in his hands, swinging and stabbing savagely at orcs, goblins and wargs one by one; whatever came his way first, he was not favouring one over the other. _

"_Fili!" he heard his brother's voice yell from behind him._

_Fili, suddenly overwhelmed with fear, forced his sword down with a striking blow into the warg's head who he'd been struggling to kill. Sharply, he turned to where his brother had called, to find Kili overwhelmed with a group of goblins._

_Running as fast as his legs would take him, Fili flew to the goblins, planting deathly blows into their backs as they neared his brother, who was already trying to take on three goblins at once._

"_Kili!" Fili yelled as he pulled his sword from one of the goblin's back and kicking him to the floor. Kili had managed to take down one of the goblins by himself, but was still struggling with the remaining two, the battle evidently taking its toll on the young dwarf._

_Fili grabbed one of his smaller knives from his belt and threw it at one of the goblins attacking Kili, planting it directly into the side of the goblin's head, who fell to its knees with a painful shriek and unnatural squirm._

_Kili, now with much less pressure on him, swung his sword at the goblin that in sync raised its own, blocking the dwarf's heavy blow. Kili pushed his sword against the goblins; its arms were raised high as they pushed against each other. Kili watched as suddenly its eyes widened and a gargling noise fell from the goblins mouth. He looked down to see a blade, plummet through the goblins chest, black blood staining the sword._

_The sword retracted from the goblins body, and it fell down to its knees, revealing Fili._

"_Are you OK?" Fili asked quickly, grabbing his brother's arm in fear._

"_I'm fine," Kili said, his tone of voice sounded perplexed, like he was surprised that he was indeed fine. "I'm fine, thank you."_

_Fili nodded sternly and turned to look around where they stood. They stood on what appeard to be part of a ledge of the mountain, which trailed off down two slopes towards the lower ground where most of the battle seemed to have unfolded. Fili on looked in horror at the men, elves and dwarves who fought furiously below, slaying the enemy or falling tragically to their feet._

"_We must find Uncle," Fili ordered, "and the rest of the company."_

_Kili nodded his head in agreement quickly, following behind his brother who strode down to the right side of the slope, running over what could scarcely be called a pathway to find the others; praying silently they were not dead._

"_Kili! Fili!" a voice cried from above them as they ran down the pathway._

_They looked up to find Dwalin stood, looking over the edge of another ledge on the mountain few feet above them. Kili and Fili looked panicked as they saw a large bat swoop down from the sky above Dwalin, its claws viciously spread out and pointed, ready to grasp the dwarf._

"_Watch out!" Kili shouted, pointing upwards._

_Dwalin scarcely turned, just in time to raise his large axe into the bats stomach, sending it flying down over the mountain side with a haunting shriek._

"_Get up here now!" Dwalin ordered, before moving away from the edge of where he stood and disappearing._

_Fili and Kili took no time in running up a separate pathway (and in some cases climbing large slopes) to get to where Dwalin stood moments ago._

_As they reached where Dwalin had called them, they stood breathlessly at a larger ledge which once stood as a guard point and pathway down to the front gates of Erebor._

_Fili immediately found Dwalin, Oin, Gloin and Thorin battling a large number of orcs and wargs, with the aid of a handful of men from Laketown._

_Kili reached to grab his bow from his back, but panic struck his face when he realised he had lost it on the smaller ledge before Fili had come to his rescue._

"_Come on," Fili said, throwing a look of encouragement his way before clutching his swords tightly and running towards the small battle ahead of them._

_Fili and Kili ran towards their friend's aid with their weapons raised, crashing them down on the unsuspecting orcs who had been too busy focused on Dwalin, Thorin, Oin, Gloin and the men to notice their appearance._

_Throwing his sword into his enemy with a more powerful blow with each swing, Fili pushed through the crowd and towards his surrounded friends who fought hard, despite the looks of exhaustion upon their faces._

"_Fili! Kili!" Thorin yelled happily as he saw his nephews push forward, striking down orc after orc; the grin on his lips was short lived as he merely dodged the blade of an orc, before plunging his own blade into the orcs chest._

"_I feared for the worst," Thorin called to them as he turned his attention to a second orc._

"_You needn't worry for us, Uncle," Kili said cockily as his own blade reached the throat of a roaring warg._

"_Enough of the cockiness, laddie," Gloin grunted from nearby, "before it gets you killed."_

"_He needs balls like that if he's going to survive," Dwalin retorted whilst bringing his axe to the neck of one orc, then swinging it ferociously at a second, letting out an angry cry as they fell._

"_Balls or not, he's doing just –"_

_Fili could not help but panic as Thorin's voice came swiftly to an end. He could only wait to find out why as he fought an orc much larger than himself._

"_Thorin!" a broken voice screamed._

_Fili could hear the sound of a blade retreat from flesh, but did not dare to turn his head._

_Fili cried out angrily, raising his two swords and moving hastily to bury them into the larger orcs sides. The orc yelped out and fell to its knees, clutching helplessly at its wounds._

_Reluctantly, Fili turned his head to find Thorin on his knees, his hands rested over his stomach; blood ran through the dwarf's fingers and down the front of his armour, the King's face slowly turning a sick grey._

_Behind Thorin stood an orc, larger than Fili had ever seen. He grinned victoriously at the back of Thorin's head, with his sword proudly raised in his large hand._

"_NO!" Fili screamed loudly, his voice cracking. "THORIN!"_

_Thorin looked up from his deathly wound at his nephew, his eyes wide with short, shaky breaths escaping his lips._

_Kili had been the first to run at the large orc, breathing heavily and screaming out loudly with every step. Fili followed shortly behind him, his head pounding heavily and his heart now beating so furiously he could hear it clearly pulsing in his ears._

_Kili had just reached the orc in time, blocking the blade that was aimed for Thorin's neck. The large orc glared viciously at Kili, then strode up to the helpless dwarf, punching him in the chest and throwing him backwards against a rock._

_Fili reached the orc just as he had hit his brother. He raised his sword and swung at it, digging one of his swords sideways into the orcs right leg._

_The orc gave a yelp in pain and turned to Fili, who raised another sword and brought it down upon the orc a second time. Unfortunately this time, the orc had just managed to lift its heavy arm in defence, taking the blade to his forearm and earning a large, but not life threatening, wound._

_The orc stood straight in a flash, and kicked Fili directly in the chest, causing him to fly backwards like Kili had done, this time however, falling beside his Uncle._

_Fili's body skidded along the rough ground and he landed with a thud. He gasped and breathed harshly in pain, winded by the orcs large boot. He scrabbled around him as best he could, watching as the orc made its way fiercely towards them._

_His heart fell into his stomach as he watched the orc kick both his swords that he had dropped aside and away from him._

"_Fili," Thorin barely muttered._

_Fili turned to his Uncle, who continued to stare down at the wound in his stomach, visibly shaking as the life slowly began to leave his body._

"_No," Fili gasped. "No! We need to get you out of here!"_

_He looked around helplessly as the orc slowly and dauntingly approached them. He could see Dwalin nearby panic, trying his hardest to help Thorin, but was to overwhelmed with orcs to do anything._

_Oin and Glon were in similar situations, helping each other slaughter the wargs that dived at them from every angle._

_The large orc grinned down at Thorin and Fili, his sword lamely hanging by his side._

_He hissed something in Black Speech that Fili could not understand. Although he did not understand it, it still sent a haunting shiver down his spine._

"_Fili," Thorin whispered again._

"_I won't let you die!" Fili cried, his throat hurt as he swallowed hard, refusing to let tears fall from his eyes. "I will not let you die here!"_

_Fili got to his feet with all the power left in his body and ran at the orc, only to halt and fall as an arrow dug itself into the back of his leg, and then another into the back of his shoulder._

_The large orc let out a laugh at the dwarfs attempt to protect his kin, and merely walked past him as he helplessly fell to the floor in defeat._

_Pain swarmed Fili's body as the arrows sharply planted themselves into his skin, tearing at it and ripping it apart._

_With the rest of his strength, Fili turned to look at his uncle, who remained knelt on the floor, gasping for air._

_Thorin looked back at Fili with his last few breaths, his eyes broken and strained._

_His lips were moving slowly as he tried to speak. A fear fell upon his face that Fili had never seen as the large orc stood behind Thorin, grinning viciously._

"_Uncle," Fili weakly mumbled, trying to stand but falling as the arrow dug further into his leg. "NO."_

_The large orc raised his sword high above his head, then yelled out once more in Black Speech, a disgusting grin swimming upon its face._

_Thorin finally closed his eyes and flared his nostrils, waiting for his impending end._

"_NO!" Fili screamed as the sword rose to the air, trying his best once more to stand. "THORIN, NO!"_

Fili sat upright in his bed with a load gasp, clutching his pounding chest as sweat rolled down his forehead; waking from his dream.

"**Thorin**."


	2. Chapter 2

Fili clutched at his chest desperately. His legs were swung over the edge of his bed and his hair fell limply into his face. He breathed heavily, the wounds on the back of his shoulder and leg twitching as an unhealthy, unwanted reminder; as if the dream had not been bad enough.

"Thorin," he repeated in a small whisper, and then he closed his eyes tightly to fight back any tears forcing their way out. He would not cry, not again.

He stood from his bed slowly and carefully, the back of his leg where he had been struck with an arrow tearing painfully.

Fili looked around his bed chamber, suddenly feeling very alone.

The fire that had been light hours before burnt a dim, fiery orange colour, hissing ever so gently as it slowly died.

Fili stared at the fire momentarily, his dream and past haunting him still. He shook his head and let out a sharp breath, an attempt to bring himself back to reality.

He swallowed hard and looked around the quiet bed chamber, still feeling horribly alone.

_He had to get out of here._

He walked out of his bed chamber and towards the hallway, clutching at the walls for support in his tired, weak state. The halls outside his bed chambers were eerily as daunting. The soft hum of air from the mines rang through the hall; Fili could not help but also hear the faint sound of snoring from behind a few of the stone doors, leading undoubtedly to other bed chambers.

Fili took slow and steady steps left of his bed chamber door, heading down the dimly light hallway. He did not know what direction he was heading; he just allowed his feet to carry him in whatever direction they went.

After minutes of walking through the large stone halls of Erebor, passing the large corridor of bed chambers, crossing the kitchens and dining hall, Fili soon found himself heading towards an open guarded door that lead outside.

"King Fili," the three dwarves who were guarding the door, fully dressed in the finest armour, nodded their head respectfully.

Fili nodded back at them as best he could, however his head felt so preoccupied he was not sure if he had even acknowledged them. The three dwarfs on guard turned to each other questioningly, watching curiously after their king who stumbled outside, dressed in only his long night shirt and boots.

Fili walked along a narrow pathway, high up on the mountain edge, with the wind brushing calmly across his cheeks. He grasped the side of the mountain and continued to walk, further and faster with each step. Eventually, an opening of the pathway gradually grew larger and revealed a fairly large edge, big enough for another guard post to comfortably sit with a great view of the eastern horizon.

Fili continued to walk with his right hand brushing against the cold stone of the mountain. As he approached the center of the larger ledge, he stopped. He pressed his back against the rocky wall and let out a heavy sigh, a sigh he had not realised he had built up in his chest.

The sun was rising in the far distance, creating a flawless orange and red glow along the horizon. It was a gorgeous view; so gorgeous, Fili had completely forgotten about the horrible dream of his past. He swallowed hard, his conscious suddenly feeling oddly at peace.

His thoughts soon became distracted at the sound of a collection of stones falling from the mountain slope beside him, and a small breath of a curse. He frowned and pulled his back from the wall, turning just in time to see a foot disappear sharply from what appeared to be another ridge a few feet above where he stood.

Was somebody else here?

"Hello?" he called out, only to be met by silence.

He frowned and studied the ridge where the foot had disappeared. He knew he was not alone.

He walked to the slope of the mountain he had previously rested upon, and clutched at whatever parts stuck out, pulling himself upwards. He climbed the mountain side, grimacing as his leg and shoulder pulled tightly at his wounds. Thankfully, the ridge was not too far to climb and Fili soon found himself grasping the edges of it before his leg gave way.

He had only just reached the top of the ledge, resting both his hands upon the top to pull himself up, before two hands grabbed his forearms and pulled him up.

Fili climbed over the edge, with the assistance of the hands that had grabbed him, and crawled onto it, before sitting down with his legs hanging back down over the ridge. He was breathing heavily, his body aching.

"Strange for someone to climb this side of the mountain at this hour," a voice spoke from beside him, "even stranger for it to be the King of Erebor."

Fili turned his head to the person who had hoisted him onto the ledge, curious at the tone of a woman's voice.

"I could not sleep," he said through heavy breaths, cursing silently at how unfit he had become.

The woman dwarf before him grinned, her arms folded with one eyebrow raised curiously.

"It is unusual for a woman to be out here," Fili finally retorted. "How did you slip past the guards?"

It was very unnatural for woman dwarves to travel out of the halls of Dwarven Mountains alone.

"Please," she snorted. "Those idiots –"

She paused upon receiving a warning looking from the king.

"Well, let's just say you may need to rethink the training of some of your guards," she said innocently.

Fili failed in suppressing his grin at the woman's honesty.

"What are you doing up here?" Fili finally asked.

"How can I trust that if I tell you, you won't have me under strict watch so that I do not come out here again on my own?" the lady retorted.

"You can't," Fili shrugged lamely.

The lady dwarf frowned at him.

"You can however use the knowledge that you saw your king out on the high side of the eastern mountain, early in the morning in nothing more than his night shirt," he then bargained.

"I can't imagine that would do great for your reputation," she smirked eagerly.

"Exactly," Fili laughed lightly.

The young lady dwarf grinned at Fili with her arms folded, still standing a few feet from him. The wind gently blew her auburn hair partly into her face, shining softly in the reflection of the rising sun.

"I come up here most mornings to watch the sun rise," she explained, a warm smile crossed her lips. "It's the few minutes in the day that I get to escape reality...The few moments where everything becomes so simple."

Fili curiously peered at the young lady dwarf. She was looking out over the gorgeous landscape beyond Erebor, the sun that slowly rose bounced softly on her pale cheeks, glowing them a healthy pink.

"When I look out to the sun and out to the horizon, I realise that everything I had bottled up, all of my problems –" she paused and looked at Fili, the same soft smile stuck to her lips, "- I realise that they are so insignificant. There are much bigger problems out there. This _world_ is much bigger than any of my tiny problems."

Silence filled the air between the two dwarves who looked on at the view in awe.

"And then," she spoke slowly, "I let it all go."

"That's nice," Fili said honestly, taking in her words. "I should take a leaf from your book."

The lady dwarf flashed Fili a quick grin as he turn his attention back to the rising sun. Admittedly, all of his problems and terrors seemed to have left him temporarily and began to feel very distant.

"Sometimes, I come out here at night," she admitted, sitting down on the ledge beside him, "and I look up at the night sky, where I attempt to read the stars. I could lie looking up at them all night if it were possible."

"Do you not?" Fili asked, earning another grin from the lady dwarf.

"I would, however, at night time it appears that your guards seem to double; some nights even triple!" she admitted. "There is no way I could sneak in and out unseen."

Fili chuckled lightly, remembering that the patrol at night had recently been increased. Fili had always been paranoid the goblins would soon turn their attention back to Erebor after the grief Thorin's company had caused them, and night time would be their prime time to strike if they were to.

"Does your husband not worry where you are?" Fili then questioned the lady beside him.

"No husband," she smiled, it did not take Fili a second to realise she lacked any sort of courting beads.

"Your father?" Fili frowned.

"Admittedly, he has caught me a few times," she nodded. "He would kill me if he knew I was here. However luckily for me, he sleeps. I have a good hour until I need to worry about him waking."

Fili grinned at the lady next to him, admiring her curiosity and rebellion. It was very unusual for women to come outside the halls of the mountain. It was even more unusual to find a lady who yearned to come outside the safe halls of the mountain.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked quietly from beside him, drawing him from his thoughts.

"Of course," Fili nodded.

"What is it like out there?" she questioned.

Fili paused; he had not expected such a question and he was unsure of how to answer it.

"It is magnificent," he said honestly. "It is beautiful, exciting and full of adventure."

He hesitated when his face shortly fell to a grave frown.

"And yet, it is the most deadly, disturbing, unkind thing I have ever known," he added.

The lady dwarf continued to look out at the sunrise, her eyes twinkling with excitement; something Fili had not seen since his Uncle first spoke of reclaiming their home from the dragon Smaug.

"I want to see it," she whispered in such a way Fili was unsure she had meant to speak it aloud.

"It is a dark world out there," Fili spoke honestly, hoping not to excite her in such a way she would flee from Erebor to go travelling. "Full of danger."

"And wonder," she said over him, looking at him with wild anticipation. "I have read of such magnificent things. It seems unfair I have to stay locked up in these stone walls when there is a whole world out there."

"It is for your own good," Fili pressed sternly and a little warningly.

The lady dwarf sighed and nodded her head in defeat. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew he was right.

"I know," she said quietly. "I just grow tired of being locked up in Erebor. I do not know how the other women dwarves do not go mad with boredom."

Fili could not help chuckle lightly.

"Because they fear the outside world. They understand that they are very sacred and important within our civilisation," Fili shrugged.

The lady dwarf snorted.

Fili made to speak, when a call from below the ledge they sat upon filled the air.

"Who goes there?" the thick voice yelled.

The lady dwarf looked at Fili in horror, realising she would be in terrible trouble for sitting out at such a late hour, unsupervised.

"Hello?" the voice called again. "We will come up there!"

"There's no need," Fili called back, leaning over the edge so the guards calling up could see his face, and that he could see down on them.

"My Lord, Fili," the dwarf guard said quickly. "I'm sorry, we thought you were a couple of children dwarves up to no good."

"Are you OK, m'lord?" the second guard asked. "Why do you sit upon that ledge?"

"I am fine, we were simply admiring the view," Fili explained. "I promise to show my lady here a sunrise from a high point of the mountain."

"_Your lady_?" one of the guards frowned.

"_Not_ his lady," the dwarf woman called quickly with a sheepish and nervous smile.

"Oh, OK," the dwarf guard nodded, looking confusedly at the other guard, who responded with a small shrug.

"We shall be returning inside now, thank you for checking on us," Fili said politely.

"M'lord, should we escort the lady back to her bed chamber for you?" one of the guards asked.

"Not necessary," Fili smiled. "I shall be returning to my own bed chambers also, I shall make sure she returns safely."

"As you wish," the guards said, before bowing lowly and disappearing around the side of the mountain along the narrow pathway.

"We're not really heading back inside, are we?" the lady dwarf finally asked after a moment of silence; and after she was confident the guards were out of earshot.

"Yes, we are," Fili grinned with a raised eyebrow. "I do not want your father to have my head for not returning you inside to safety."

"Because it's _so_ dangerous out here," she said as she stood up begrudgingly.

She had only just stood up straight when her right foot slipped on a jagged edge of the ridge they sat upon. She stumbled backwards clumsily, Fili only just managed to grab her in time before she slid completely off the edge on her behind.

Fili pulled her from where her body would have slipped completely off the side and back onto the ledge side with her legs hanging over the edge as they previously had been.

She turned to Fili with horrified, wide eyes. Small, sharp breaths escaped her mouth, and Fili could not help but look at her and grin.

"You were saying?"


End file.
